That Feeling

Despite how much I love writing, writing about my feelings is something that I think I’ve always struggled with. I am sometimes convinced that I have just approached feelings from a weird angle my entire life and as a result of that, I’ll never be able to get them out properly. BUT. This past week or so I’ve wanted to write about a particular feeling and state of mind that I’ve been experiencing and that I know all too well. 

Today was a long day for me. When I say long I mean 12+ hours long and a packed schedule of things to do and places to be and information to hear about and read about and think about. Needless to say, as I’m writing this at the end of the day I feel exhausted and a little sleepy but the feelings I want to really focus on are the ones I felt before today even started. 

I’ve been aware of the fact that this day would be a busy one for the past 2 or so months. I knew that today was going to consist of a lot of new experiences and new information and up until last night I was fine with the idea of such a jam-packed day. Then last night I started freaking out. I started feeling really anxious about all the “what ifs” and the endless number of things that could go really well or really badly. I was consumed by stress and fear and worry. I felt so overwhelmed that it took everything in me to even act remotely normal and yet my thoughts were racing and I was trying to psych myself out of any positive possibilities of the day. 

Feeling a little bit of stress and worry and anxiety and fear is normal. Everyone goes through that. I know that, on a more personal level, it sometimes starts to get to the point where it doesn’t feel normal anymore but that doesn’t mean that you have to go into crisis mode. For me, crisis mode is avoided when I take a second to slow down and think about what’s actually happening and breathe. This method of avoiding crisis mode may not be what works for everyone but feeling frightened or anxious or worries is a thing that most people experience in their lives and though it may be hard to talk about or write about its important to get the feeling out of your system. Maybe talk to someone you love and trust and they can help you too.

As for me, I made it through the day. The worries from the day before and the actions I took to ease my worries really helped me feel much better and to be more confident that I could handle a 12+ hour day. 

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