College – Year 1

In exactly 16 days, my first year of college will be over so I want to take a second to reflect on what has happened this year because it has definitely been a year of growth.

I started college back in August. I actually remember the first day of Fall 2016 because I didn’t have class that day. It was a Monday and my college had just changed my schedule from a Monday-Friday schedule to a Tuesday and Thursday schedule, but I still had online classes to take care of so I was up bright and early, figuring out my classes.

That first semester was brutal. The workload didn’t overwhelm me, I was used to doing a lot of work for my classes and putting in 100% effort in everything. The thing was, I transitioned from a school where I had my group of friends that I could count on seeing regularly, to a school where I didn’t regularly see anyone I knew. I constantly felt a lot of anxiety over going to class or going to events on campus because I was going it alone. I felt so alone in the world at times and I had so many breakdowns where I just had to sit and cry it out. My grades never slipped though. No matter how I felt emotionally, I knew that there was no way I was going to give up putting in effort for my classes that I paid for, no sir. So I did it. I cried my eyes out, I worked harder than ever, I started trying to make myself feel comfortable with the uncomfortable.

One thing that happened in my first semester that will always stick out to me was talking with one of the teaching assistants in my classes. She told me she saw potential in me and she motivated me to try things outside of my comfort zone. She told me that there was something in me that could be so great but I was being too anxious and holding back too much and it was hurting me. The words she said to me stick with me every day.

Spring is a lot better than fall was. My classes are a lot more challenging now, I’ve started my major specific classes and I have a lot more freedom to decide what I am interested in. I feel a lot less anxiety now about going to events on campus or to my classes and I’ve even looked into ways to get more involved. I’m hoping that it’s only up from here and that the next semesters that come are even better than this one was and I hope that I continue to learn a lot.

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