Relationships and Self-Worth

When I was in middle school, I had this friend who always preached about knowing your worth. Through all of middle school, I could count on her to speak passionately about how important she believed it was to know who you were and how you deserved to be treated by friends or potential romantic partners in the future. She would go on and on about not letting anyone treat you badly no matter who that was and demanding the type of treatment you thought you were worthy of receiving. In high school, that same friend got into and stayed in a relationship with a guy who cheated on her multiple times and treated her unkindly sometimes. This guy went against everything my friend had decided she was worth, but she stayed with him and it was almost as if she’d forgotten her self-worth; the same thing she’d been talking about for years.

I’m writing about this because I’ve seen my friends and even strangers lose their sense of self-worth when it comes to relationships. It’s almost as if these people forget every idea they’ve ever had about how they should be treated and give it up for someone who will hold their hand. Knowing your self-worth is so important though, in any relationship. Having a clear definition of what you think you’re worthy of is what gives you the courage to stand up to someone who’s treating you badly and tell them that you deserve better. Being aware of who you are, what you value, what feeling you want to get out of that friendship or romantic relationship, all of that is what ensures that if there is ever a time where you realize that you’re not happy with the current state of the relationship, you can fix it or end it.

I was recently speaking with a friend who realized that she didn’t know what she thought she was worthy of. Because of this she kept getting into relationships that ended badly or left her feeling unsatisfied and wondering why she kept going through this cycle time and time again. She finally decided to take some time for herself and build herself up without a relationship and she realized that not knowing what she was worth was leading her to form relationships with people who didn’t add any value to her life. The more she learned what she was worth, the happier she was with the people in her life and with the interactions she had with others.

All I’m saying is, know what you’re worth. Know what you want from a friendship or a romantic relationship or any other kind of relationship and don’t stand for treatment other than that. You as a person deserve to be treated based on the terms you define.

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