Getting judge solely on looks is something that I feel no one should have to experience. While it can be a positive or negative experience, it’s really hard to think that you can understand someone entirely just by what they look like on the outside. I’ve had it both ways, but what’s really been on my mind lately is the way my family calls me “The Pretty One” almost reducing me to nothing but just a nice looking (I guess) face and no substance behind the person I’ve grown to be.
I walked into a little family gathering the other day and my mom’s aunt introduced me by saying, “This is her daughter. Yeah, she’s the pretty one.” If I ever mess up just a little I get the, “…it’s a good thing you’re pretty” comment.
It’s not that I mind being called pretty. I appreciate the compliment, I do. It just frustrates me that that’s all the recognition I get and that no one seems to realize or wonder that I might have more to me. For example, no one ever mentions the way I stay up and stress over my university courses or the way I try my hardest to maintain my grades. As a matter of fact, rarely does someone mention that I go to university at all and if they do, they look at me sympathetically and ask if I think it’s hard *insert Elle Woods going “What, like it’s hard?” here*.
Growing up, I never minded being called the “pretty one” because it boosted the self-confidence I had. I appreciated that people thought I was pretty even if it meant that they noticed nothing else about me. However, over the years that mentality has changed. I’ve gained a lot of self-confidence and realized there is a lot more to me than just the looks. Then it also makes me wonder, am I the pretty one because they think I have no other qualifiers or am I the pretty one because I enjoy doing my makeup and dressing up or am I the pretty one because they don’t know what else to say about me?
This isn’t meant to be some type of “woe is me” blog post, I’m just confused. Why is it that when people are even mildly attractive, it’s so hard to see beyond that? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ve done it. I’ll look at someone and notice that they’re attractive and leave it at that without a second thought as to what interesting things they might have to say or how school is going (or went) for them or what they’re interested in doing in their free time. Is it a human thing to just dismiss attractive people as only beautiful and incapable of being anything else? And if it is, why is that? It doesn’t happen to every mildly attractive person, I’ve noticed. Only a select few get dismissed as nothing but a pretty face just because of their looks while others are flocked to, praised, basically worshiped. I’m trying to understand where the distinction comes in and why it happens, but for now I guess I’ll just walk into gatherings and give my own introductions.
Exterior beauty pales in comparison to what’s inside. Looks aren’t everything. If you’ve got something on your heart or in your mind, share it. It doesn’t matter what you look like, what people might judge you for, etc. All that matters is that you make your mark on this world in the way you feel capable of doing so. And if you’ve ever dealt with any positive or negative judgment based on looks, I want you to remember, you’re way more than what’s on the outside.